The Care and Feeding of the Introvert: Some Advice for Pastors and Ministers

I've been astounded by all of the feedback I've been getting on this series of posts. Thanks to everyone for your comments, emails, re-tweets, etc. If you are interested in exploring this issue more, Adam McHugh has some great ideas.

Now…a few final thoughts for church leaders about how to deal with the introverts in your flock.

First, I am not a proponent of rearranging everything in your church to accommodate introverts. Statistically speaking, introverts are – at best – going to comprise about 30% of your membership, and even then many of those may be so mildly introverted that much of what I've said in the last two posts doesn't even apply to them. Introverts are, relatively speaking, a minority, and – unless "introvert outreach" is your church's mission – it makes no sense to structure your entire community around the needs of this particular group.

Having said that, I do believe that fostering some degree of sensitivity toward the way your church "culture" affects introverts can pay huge dividends. Primarily, you need to avoid a mentality in which attendance at "chatty" social events and bold personalities are somehow equivocated to healthy spirituality.  Watch out for the subtle ways the theological language of the church regarding ideas like "community" and "fellowship" get translated into casual socializing and gregariousness. They are not the same thing. When people become convinced that 45 minutes of talking about the news and sports at the weekly men's breakfast is "authentic community," you are fostering unnecessary guilt among introverts (who probably don't attend) and complacency among the extroverts.

In addition to more social events, find a way to organize some events that center on contemplative spirituality. Many introverts, particularly those that have never experienced this sort-of thing, will love this stuff. Think about mid-week prayer services that are mostly about silence and meditation. Encourage the practice of lectio divina in your Sunday Schools. By all means, keep the "stand up and greet your neighbor" segment in your worship service, but also include an extended time of silent contemplation. Some amazing things can happen – for extroverts and introverts – when, in the midst of a time of prayer, a full sanctuary is simply silent for 2-3 minutes.

As introverts arrive at a place where they are ready to contribute, take some time to get to know what interests them. Do they like to build things? Think about asking them to do community service (either alone, or with a friend or two – don't make it a "big event"). Do they like to read? Perhaps they would contribute a 2-3 paragraph book review to the church bulletin. Are they into hobby board games or pen-and-paper roleplaying games? Encourage them to invite people to the church for a regular game night with people who share the same interests.

Once the introvert becomes comfortable with you and with the Church surroundings, you may be surprised to find that it is like uncorking a bottle of wine or perfume. They may look very mundane on the outside, but on the inside there are a lot great things just waiting to come out. Often, they are things that will benefit not only the fellow introverts, but others in your church, as well as in your community as a whole.